I realize that my recovery will always have ups and downs. That there is going to be good days and bad days. I didn’t become sick overnight and I won’t become healthy overnight. What helps me get thru the bad days is realizing that they are less frequent. I am also noticing that the “triggers” are other people. Or at least I blame them. I let others dictate how I feel. I have a good day, if I’m treated well or what I think is well, by people around me. And If someone ignores me, is angry or defensive with me, then I am devastated and I cry. I realize now that that resentment is part of my illness and many times it not the reality of the situation. It’s an assumed wrong and delusional many times. It’s none of my business what others are thinking about me. And everyone is dealing with their own shit. Why should or would they care about my shit or offending me. So I stop and I say the serenity prayer and I write. And I feel better. And I try not to think about what may happen tomorrow. Because I can’t see into the future. Only my HP knows what will happen and I trust him/her to help me accept the things I can not control.