Insanity

Insanity-extreme folly; senselessness; foolhardiness. In Al-anon step two is: We came to believe a power greater then us could restore us to sanity. I felt insane before I came to Al-anon and I still do sometimes. The difference is I have some tools now to deal with my anger, resentment, and of course my fear of loss. Yesterday I was afraid of losing money, friendship, and stability. The fear turned to anger. I was angry last night and I woke up this morning angry. I felt like I wanted to scream at the sky and ask HP why is this happening to me? I felt insane! This morning I said to myself; “god, I feel like I’m losing my mind!” And then I remembered step two and I said; “wait I’m going to give this to my HP.” I kept trying to let if go to god but I was still angry. So I made a list of all the stuff that I was pissed about. Actually, noted how long it was, and I closed my eyes and in my mind I saw my HP’S hand taking the list. I felt his/hers acceptance and support and that everything is going to be ok. I let the anger go and burned the list. I also sat down and wrote what I was grateful for, as reminder that I have a long list of those things too. I no longer feel insane. I am so glad that I am learning how to use the tools to feel better and get healthy again