Today was about anger. Not my anger but others. I discussed it in a conversation with two people and opened up to anger in my alanon book. I listen to my HP and I know he/she wants me to write about anger. I have been around people all my life that are so angry. Angry at others but in reality angry at themselves. My father, sister and husband. And I have been the brunt of the anger. My sister in her hate at the “good” child. My father for his anger at my out of control sister taking it out on me. He actually kicked a plate into my face so hard I had to get stitches and plastic surgery. And my husband for me just being a convenient outlet. I guess abusive anger is common to an alcoholic and drug addict and that is what I have encounter in the past with my sister and husband. I could have resentment for these people in my life. But what good would that do me. I would turn into them. No, I choose instead to tell them I don’t like it and to stay out of there way when they are angry. I realize it’s not me it’s them. I still have to remind myself that I have done nothing wrong. I actually pity them, which I know is not healthy, but it must suck to be so pissed all the time. And I remind myself daily that I can’t “fix” it. I’m hoping that I will get to a point where I don’t feel bad or guilty for thinking I caused the anger. I know I’m feeling that less and less. As I remind myself that I didn’t cause it. Can’t cure it. And I can’t control it.