Expectations

I feel disappointed and sad that someone was not who I thought they were. Do I have the right to feel that way when they are unable to live up to my expectations? And why is it their job to be what I want them to be? People are going to be what they want to be. Not who I think they should be. I sit here in the dark and wonder if my expectations are too high for the people around me and I’m ultimately and always going to be disappointed? Because people are living their lives as best as they can. They are not here for me, they are here for them. My childhood was not good, and I always thought that I wish I could have been spoiled like some little cheerleader , wishing to have that life and not mine. I thought I was able to empathize with other people who had a rough childhood. I didn’t think I was better then anyone else. How could I when I was so poor and living in chaos. But I don’t think that’s true. I think I act like a little princess sometimes expecting to be catered too. And I wonder where this ego , holier then thou attitude comes from. The only explanation is that I think I’m better because I’m not an alchie. That because I have the “control” and take care of everyone else, I am the better person. But that’s just not true. I’m just as sick and needing a 12 step program as any addict. And the more I write and examine my negative emotions the more I realize how ill I really am and how much work I have ahead of me. I will have to take it one day at a time and stop myself when I’m setting up unrealistic expectations.