The No Good Very Bad Day

It is funny to sit here on a good day and wonder to myself what my problem was yesterday. Why was I in my head so much? Why did I feel so horrible and emotional? Of course it’s hard to seek help when you’re feeling like shit. When I am that terrible out of control place, that’s when I really need the program and someone to talk to. The trick is realizing I need the help and reaching out and getting it. Many times I feel psycho and out of control and I either think I can handle it on my own or that I don’t want to bother my sponsor about it. But that’s what my sponsor is there for. And that is why I have a contact list, to call someone if I need to. I know that one of the main reasons for relapse is not going to meeting and not working the steps. I have not opened my al-anon book for about month now. Yesterday I picked it up again. Today I feel better. Maybe I will get to a point where I don’t wait so long to use the tools that I have to feel better. I think the more I realize what I need for my recovery is the better I will get at handling the “bad” days.