Forgiving

I have been working the codependency steps with my sponsor. We are working through a book that has me list and explore how my childhood as affected me and the way I view the world. My Dad and sister had a big role in my negative experiences. I’ve been thinking about both of them a lot lately. Especially my dad, because he has been fighting colon cancer and is having surgery next week. I’m going to see him and I’m going with a light heart because I have forgiven him for the childhood abuse. I suppose I could hate both my sister and dad for what they did to me, but I don’t. For me to truly recover I need to forgive them and understand them. I know that they were doing the best they could in the hell that we were all in. My sister grew up in the same household I did so I know why she is a drug addict and why she was abusive to me. My dad is mentally ill and had a horrible childhood as well. I understand the illness they had and have. I understand because I had it too. Insecurity, low self -esteem, fear and self pity. I’m so glad that I sought help and have a sponsor helping me work the steps. Giving me the tools to connect to my kind, forgiving, god. Because now I can forgive as well. And I pray for my dad and sister that they find the same peace I did and that they can forgive each other too.