Trusting

People say bad things happen in threes. I came back from Dallas in a dark state. My work tells me they are cutting back my money and students because of my “personal” problems. I just kept saying what the hell?? Why does everything bad have to happen all at once? I think it would be easier to deal with if it was spread out over time. Sometimes I get jealous of happy people. I feel selfish and petty But sometimes I get annoyed when someone comes up to me and says life is good. How are you doing? Usually I say Fine. Why should I bring them down with my shit. I just feel like I need some happy positive things happening when I have this going on. But then I wonder if I would recognize it as such. Maybe everything seems dark even the good things. I have been in this place before, I recognize it well. The difference now is I go to meetings and I get support I know that god will send the advice I need if I just stay patient. And he does. At the meeting I went to right after work an old timer in NA said I have to accept the way things are, good, bad or indifferent. He said when one door closes another opens and that it’s HP plan. He also said that it’s hard to see Hp plan when bad stuff happens until it’s all over. That trusting is the key to getting through it and everything will make since He said this in a share. He did not even know I needed those words. But HP did. So I am trusting and writing down the things I am grateful for. I am trying to listen to HP clues. And I am trying hard to take it as it comes, one day at a time. It is the only choice I have because the alternative is being miserable..