Sunday, August 3, 2008
Let Me Live
Live and let live seems to be my Higher Power theme for me this week. I pulled it as a topic, Thursday, and shared my feelings about it. How I need to stay out of people business. But that damn topic keeps coming up again. I am surprised in the way HP is showing me his/hers intention. I would think it would be about me getting into others business and trying to “help” them fix whatever is wrong. But instead it others getting into my business and telling me how to fix my life and how to act. And saying they are trying to help me. I don’t understand how some take my inventory and when I call them on they are unable to see that what they did was not ok. I understand that the underlying motivation is concern and caring about me at the same time I need to make my mistakes on my own. I need to decide what’s “best” for me. And if that means my action are probably going to cause me pain then that’s my path. My character flaws are mine to work out no one else’s business. Especially, if what I am doing is hurting no one. I am grateful now for people taking my inventory because it has made me stronger in my recovery. I now have the ability to see that what I do is my business and if you want to judge me thats your choice. Just keep it to yourself. I have my own program I’m doing and it’s no ones business but mine how I chose to work it. So I say fuck off busy bodies. Deal with your own problems and let me deal with mine.
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2 comments:
It honestly never ceases to amaze me in AA, a place that should be safe for us all to come and get on with our recovery at our own pace, that there are so many people who, whilst trying to help from the best of intentions actually have really just forgotton from when they hailed.
I know that I, like most alkies limped into my first AA meeting, broken, busted and disgusted. How, therefore, could I ever presume to think that I should know better about someone else's recovery than they do. I'm with Cyndi. I wish some people would not stick their beaks in unless its asked for, and then "stick-away!" - Ricardo
I totally understand that, but without the busybodies as well as those really strong old timers who knew how to tell the truth, I wouldn't "really" understand from experience how sick that kind of fixing and controlling behavior is in me.
Thank God for putting all the crazies in AA in my life so I continue to grow and want to be better and serve him instead of myself :)
My sponsor has me reading page 66-67 over and over and keeps making me read to the wives and family afterward too to remind me that in this program it is necessary to follow instructions and show Love, tolerance, patience and kindness because we treat them like a sick friend. If we get angry that means the person has the power to evoke a negative in us, for me that's deadly. I have to cease to struggle. To relax and take it easy. Any negative action/reaction is resentment which is judgment of someone else which is deadly because that's God's job not mine... when I start to act like God that gets me dead.
I just stick to my job, Love and carry the message of "My recovery."
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