Letting Go

Why do I hold on to relationships that are so difficult to keep going ? Many times it seems like I’m the only one that cares. That some people are being my friend out of niceness. That’s pretty sick to think that. Pretty insecure and comes from a place of low self-esteem. Because I think I’m a great friend to have. So. if I feel that way why do I keep trying to have that person in my life that doesn’t want to be there? It’s like I keep picking at a scab. I start to heal and I go back for more hurt. One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I am insane when it comes to relationships I think. That’s how I feel when I get hurt over and over again. I think part of my hurt is I feel like it’s a great friendship and then that person is “done” with me. I think, I must have caused this change. And I obsess over what I must have done. I know it’s not my fault. That’s it’s not all about me. That everyone is living their own lives and it may have nothing to do with me at all. I have to realize that not everyone I encounter in my life is meant to stay there. And once the reason for them being in my life is over to let them go. But I don’t know how to do that yet. Maybe ask HP, or pray for guidence. Maybe, write a goodbye letter and never send it. I will be working on this issue for awhile, I know.